Finding the Strength to Carry On

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Finding the Strength to Carry On

A brother, with continued support from Tzu Chi, was able to bid farewell to his older sister before her passing, and continued to honour her memory by giving back. 

Photos of birthdays celebrated by a pair of siblings still adorned the walls of the modest home. The belongings of Madam Oh remained where she had left them, preserved with care by her younger brother, Mr. Aw Hang Cheng. Each photo and item was a poignant reminder of moments that could never be recaptured, a way for Mr Aw to keep his sister’s memory alive. 

Mr Aw, a Tzu Chi Medical Home Service aid recipient, had shared his life with his elder sister for years. Suffering from mild intellectual disability, he had been dependent on her until she was diagnosed with terminal cancer. As her illness progressed, the roles reversed, and Mr Aw found himself caring for the sister who had always been his protector. 

In the small bedroom, two simple wooden beds without mattresses stood side by side. Mr Aw pointed to the bed with a red pillow. “This is my sister’s bed,” he said in simple Mandarin. His voice trembled as he continued, “I love my sister. She is dead. I can’t help it. I have tears in my eyes.” 

Jacqueline Khoo, a nurse from Tzu Chi Home Care Service, listened attentively. “It has been four years since I took up this case. They have chronic diseases. Madam Oh had been looking after her brother and was a mother figure to him,” she explained. 

Mr Aw managed to care for his sister in the initial months, but as her condition deteriorated, it became too much for him. She needed frequent trips to the bathroom at night, and he struggled to sleep or eat properly. “We were worried that Mr Aw might collapse,” Jacqueline said. The team decided to send Madam Oh to Dover Park Hospice (DPH). 

Mr Aw visits his sister three times a week during her four months at DPH

To ensure the siblings spent as much time together as possible, volunteers took turns bringing Mr Aw to the hospice three times a week, hoping to minimise any future regrets. Tzu Chi volunteer Kang Sool Peng, who had taken on this responsibility, shared, “My father passed away in Malaysia during the COVID-19 lockdown. I couldn’t see him for the last time, and I have regrets about that. I do not want others to have such regrets, so I tried my best to send him to meet his sister during her final days.” 

Madam Oh spent about four months in the hospice. Recognising that her condition was dire, Tzu Chi social work associate Kwek Jing Yi, helped Mr Aw say his ‘goodbye’. “I asked the brother to be next to Madam Oh and repeat after me: ‘Sister, please be assured that I will take care of myself.’” Madam Oh heard her brother’s words and passed away the next day. 

The separation left Mr Aw deeply saddened. Yet, with the support of the medical team and volunteers, he found the strength to carry on. Under their guidance, he continued his habit of saving small amounts of change in a coin bank to donate to Tzu Chi, aiming to help other less fortunate families. Volunteers also took him to the Tzu Chi Day Rehabilitation Centre, where he contributed by doing some cleaning work. 

Reflecting on his journey, Mr Aw said, “Dropping coins into the coin bank is to help people. You help me, so I want to help you too.” 

Despite the profound loss of his sister, Mr Aw found the courage to live a meaningful life. By giving back to society, he honoured his sister’s memory and slowly walked out of his grief, finding solace in the act of helping others. 

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